examples and advice
envelope addressing
In an era of evites, your wedding save the dates and invitations are likely the first formal, printed stationery you’ve sent. You’re probably feeling a bit in over your head with all the details and etiquette rules.
This page will help you tackle your guest list, stop Googling everything, and step into the planning process feeling prepared, informed & organized.
Some of this etiquette advice may seem old-fashioned, but if you’re a bride who embraces traditions, be sure to follow these tips.
When in doubt, I refer to Emily Post and Crane’s Blue Book for all things etiquette.
That being said, it’s your wedding so make sure to do what makes sense for you!
Make your mailbox debut flawless
the address spreadsheet
First things first
Before you begin, download Banter & Charm’s address spreadsheet template. But hold off on filling it out until you've read through the etiquette guidelines on this page.
address template download
There are several tabs on the template. The first tab is optional - if you’re using a website or other form to track your RSVPs and headcount you can ignore it.
The most important tab is the “Envelope Addresses” tab. This is where you’ll set up your guests’ names and addresses exactly as you’d like them printed on the envelopes.
If you’re using an inner/outer envelope set, you’ll also want to fill out the “Inner Envelope Names” tab. Otherwise, leave it blank.
I know there are lots of address templates out there (and sites that collect addresses for you), but if I’m printing your guest addresses, it’s really important that you set them up using my template.
Email me if you have trouble downloading the spreadsheet.
Instructions
use the "names line 2" column for children and guests
include titles and suffixes (if using them)
type names exactly as you want them printed
After you’ve looked through the etiquette guidelines on this page, it’s time to fill out your spreadsheet! Take note of the column headings, and input the names and addresses in the relevant section.
put apartments/unit numbers on the second address line
Put an apostrophe before zip codes with a leading zero
the country is only needed for international addresses
1. mailing (Outer) envelope
The outer mailing envelope is addressed with your guests’ full names and titles.
2. rsvp envelope
The RSVP envelope should be pre-addressed and stamped. According to USPS addressing guidelines, there must be a name on the mailing address for the RSVP envelope.
You don't include a return address on the RSVP envelope. Guests can handwrite their address if desired.
3. inner envelope
If you’re using an inner envelope, it’s addressed a little differently than the outer envelope. Generally, you use the titles and surnames only.
Invitation suites include an outer mailing envelope, an optional inner envelope, and an envelope for guests to return their reply card.
What are we addressing?
Include your return address on the back flap of the envelope. You do not need to include a name on the return address.
Traditionally, you’ll use the hosts’ address for the return address and RSVP envelope address. However, it is common to for the RSVP envelope to be addressed to the bride or wedding planner.
Mr. and Mrs. Clark Gable
Mr. and Mrs. Gable
You can use familiar names and titles for close family members.
Aunt Kathy or Grandmama
01.
4. date & time
The date and time should be spelled out. Include a hyphen in numbers over twenty (twenty-three). Including the year is optional, but do not use “and” (two thousand and eighteen is incorrect). “In the afternoon/evening” is optional. Use “half after” for half hours.
5. location
List the ceremony location along with the city and state. The street address is optional (it’s a good idea if the venue is not well known, or if there are multiple venues with similar names in the city), but leave off the zip code.
6. optional information
If the ceremony and the reception are at the same venue, it’s common to include “reception to follow” (or similar wording). If they are at different locations, use a separate card for the reception.
You can include information about the suggested dress code (black tie, formal attire) if the invitation is to the ceremony and reception. Attire is generally listed in the lower right corner of the invitation.
do you need two envelopes?
Traditionally, a formal invitation use a two envelope set: the outer mailing envelope with the guests’ full names and address, and the inner envelope with the guests’ individual names. The outer envelope was originally used to ensure the invitation arrived in pristine condition - free from the dust and grime of dirty city streets.
But it still has its value today! The inner envelope can detail the names of each guest that is invited so there’s no confusion over whether the kids are included, or if they can bring a guest.
My advice? Use an inner/outer set if you like the tradition, want to be very specific about who is invited, or just like the idea of having another piece in the suite (they’re a great place to put wax seals, an envelope liner, or add a pop of color). Otherwise, feel free to skip it and use a single mailing envelope!
If you’re the ultra-traditional type, opt for handwriting or calligraphy in black ink.
Not one to follow the rules? Go with any color ink, and address however you like!
how will you address your envelopes?
Before we begin:
*If you’re the type to worry excessively about things that could go wrong, I’d suggest going with dark ink on light envelopes. Orders with envelopes addressed in white ink could potentially experience a higher level of undeliverable items.
no initials
no nicknames
no abbreviations
include names of everyone invited
use titles and suffixes
double check full names
We’ll go into this further in a bit, but here's a quick checklist!
addressing etiquette
02.
Spell it out
- Address an invitation using a guest’s full names - no nicknames, initials, or abbreviations. That means you need to ask your co-worker Eddie if his full name is Edward or Edwin.
- Spell out street names and cardinal directions: Road, Boulevard, Court, Circle, North, South
- Write out the full state name instead of using the two letter postal abbreviation: Michigan, not MI
- Spell out single digit street numbers or numeric street names under 100: One Royalton Boulevard or Thirty-First Street or 202nd Avenue
Caveats to this rule are titles (Mr. Mrs. Ms.) and suffixes (Jr. or Sr. or III).
If you want to spell out the suffix, make sure to include a comma before like this:
Mr. Robert Ginter, junior
Whose name goes first?
Invitations to a married person are always addressed to both members of the couple.
The most formal and traditional way to list a married couple is “Mr. and Mrs.” followed by the man’s first name and their shared last name.
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Browning
The same applies if a woman has kept her maiden name.
You can split the names onto two lines if they don’t fit on one. You can also switch the order of the names: use alphabetical or the person you know best can go first.
And while that’s the most traditional way to do it, many modern women would prefer to have their first name included. If this is the case, separate their names and join them with an “and”.
Ms. Abigail Browning
and Mr. Alexander Browning
If a person in the couple has hyphenated their last name, list the unhyphenated person first.
Mr. Alexander Browning
and Ms. Abigail Glenn-Browning
For unmarried couples living together, list the person you know best first followed by their partner. (Unless their partner has a higher rank.) If the couple does not live together, each person should receive their own invitation.
Mr. Alexander Browning and Ms. Abigail Glenn
Families with Children
Children under the age of 18 are addressed on their parent’s invitation. Their names can be written on the envelope below the parents’ names. If they all share the same last name, the child’s last name is optional.
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Browning
Master Jacob and Miss Sarah
Children over 18 years old who still live at home with their parents should receive their own invitation.
If you’re inviting the entire household, a more informal approach is to list the family name.
The Browning Family
If the invitation is addressed to only the parents, it’s implied that the children are not invited. To further clarify, you could use an inner envelope with only the parents listed or add a line to the RSVP card stating “We have reserved 2 seats in your honor”.
Use “Miss” for girls under 18. You can omit the title for a boy under 18, or use the formal “Master”.
Single Guests
Use “Ms.” for unmarred women over the age of 18. Include “and guest” if you’re inviting them to bring a guest. If the guest’s name is known, you can write on a separate line below.
Ms. Penelope Glenn and guest
Ms. Penelope Glenn
Mr. Jonathan Dowling
For a divorcee, use Mrs. or Ms. if she still uses her ex-husband's last name.
Use Ms. if she's uses her maiden name.
Mrs. Abigail Browning OR Ms. Abigail Browning
Ms. Abigail Glenn
Traditionally, widows are addressed with their married name.
Some may prefer to use their first name - it’s a good idea to ask them or a close family member if you’re not sure.
Mrs. Alexander Browning
Mrs. Abigail Browning
Spell out “Doctor” if space allows.
Dr. Abigail Browning and Mr. Alexander Browning
Doctor and Mrs. Alexander Browning
If both members of the couple are doctors, address them as “The Doctors”.
The Doctors Browning
Doctors
List the wife’s name first if she is a doctor.
All military titles should be spelled out.
Colonel Abigail Browning and Mr. Alexander Browning
Colonel Alexander Browning and Mrs. Browning
List the wife’s name first if she outranks the spouse.
If a military officer is retired, include their title but add "retired" after their name.
Colonel Alexander Browning, USMC, Retired and Mrs. Browning
Military
The title “The Honorable” can be used for a Judge, Senator, Representative, Governor, Mayor, State Attorney General, Ambassador, or City Council member.
The Honorable Abigail Browning and Mr. Alexander Browning
The Honorable Alexander Browning and Mrs. Browning
List the wife’s name first if she outranks the spouse.
Judge or Elected Official
If both are judges, list them as:
The Honorable Alexander Browning and The Honorable Abigail Browning
The title and form of address for members of the clergy will depend on the religion. Here are a few examples, but always check with your church for the correct form of address.
The Reverend Abigail Browning and Mr. Alexander Browning
The Reverend Alexander Browning and Mrs. Browning
List the wife’s name first if she outranks the spouse.
Members of the Clergy
To address a priest:
The Reverend Father Alexander Browning
addressing INNER ENVELOPES
If you’re using an inner envelope, it’s addressed a little differently than the outer envelope. Generally, you use the titles and surnames only.
Mr. and Mrs. Browning
You can use familiar names and titles for close family members.
Aunt Kathy or Grandmama
List any children below the parents, in order from oldest to youngest.
Mr. and Mrs. Browning
Jacob and Sarah
When using an inner/outer envelope set, you’ll list “and guest” on the inner envelope only.
Ms. Browning
and guest
04.
Traditionally anyone in a household over 18 receives their own invitation.
06. Can we send adult roommates a shared invitation?
Your best bet is to reach out to the person. It may feel awkward, but they’ll appreciate that you took the time to ask.
Going with the most traditional etiquette is generally the best if you're not sure.
05. what if I'm not sure about someone's preferred title?
Use traditional etiquette for your older relatives, and modern etiquette for your friends! Chances are they won't compare their envelopes ;)
04. My older relatives are sticklers for tradition, but our friends are more modern. What addressing format should we use?
Children can be listed on a second line below the parents’ names. If you're using an inner envelope, list them on the second line of the inner envelope.
03. How do we list children on an invitation envelope?
Traditionally the host’s return address is used (generally the bride's parents). The hosts' names are listed or can be left off.
02. Whose return address do we use and what name(s) are listed?
You can write out the full names and titles of both people: Mr. Alexander Browning and Mrs. Abigail Browning
Or drop the titles and use the less formal: Alexander and Abigail Browning.
01. How do you include the wife's name on an envelope?
Have a question? I've got an answer! And if you don't see your question here, please reach out via email: sarah@banterandcharm.com
FAQs
05.